History of Birds

I’ve been recently bombarded with e-mails from people wanting to know more about these birds. What are their dreams? Do they have jobs? Families? Are they healthy? Intelligent? How can I meet these birds? I notice some of these birds wear suits – are they company CEOs? Do you know who my real father is?

Well, I don’t have all the answers, but I will do my best to share with you what I do know about these birds.

Most of the birds were born from eggs in nests in trees… on the moon. This is why many don’t have wings – unnecessary when there is no gravity. Some were the result of genetic engineering “bloopers”, and a few I grew myself from seeds.

I regret to inform you that most of these birds are not very intelligent. Suffice it to say, don’t expect to see any of these birds at the nest MENSA meeting. Some have managed to gain employment in low paying or undesirable jobs: garbage men, McDonalds employees, etc. but most are unemployed. Several had worked as Ronald Reagan’s security but are now unemployed due to his passing.

The rest of the questions are so variable that I can’t offer you much of an answer beyond saying that in the future, I hope to inform you more of these specific birds as I post their pictures.