Originally uploaded by devastationstudios.
Okay, so this bird could lose a little weight. That's no reason to judge him. He has a job just like you and me, and is trying to make an honest living. So, his job is a competitive hair-eater, so what? We all have our strengths, and I believe it is our duty to play to those strengths and give the world what we can best offer.
Having said that, I will admit that this bird is kind of disgusting, not that's no reason to lose respect for him. As a matter of fact, this bird is the president of the Intel corporation. You think people build computer processors? You're wrong my friend. Intel's processors are created when they come out of this bird's mouth, literally, in the form of vomit.
This bird has some demons that he has struggled with for years. Due to his financial success, he has been known to go for fast cars, loose women, and booze. It is fortunate that he has as much money as he does, or he would have gone broke. He purchased Ferraris, hired numerous prostitutes (from which he acquired numerous STDs), and spent millions of dollars on liquor.
Today, people suspect he has reformed, as he has a wife and children, but no one really knows what goes on behind the doors of his mansion. He rarely exits the mansion, and rumors suggest that he tends to reside in the darkness and avoid the light at all costs. He does have one good friend who vouches for him, but he refuses to explain his eccentricities. This friend, of course, is the fictional character Harry Potter. Unfortunately, I was unable to reach him for comment.
How was I able to get this photograph you ask? Well, I admit that this is one of the few photos on this blog that I have not personally taken. It is actually a publicity photo from Intel's web site.
I would also like to announce that our parent web site, devastationstudios.com has just launched a podcast titled the Richard and John Show. Be sure to check that out. For the record, it's made by me.
Labels: bird, booze, ferrari, intel, president, prostitute