'Quihlo

'Quihlo
Originally uploaded by devastationstudios.

I met this bird at the Guggenheim Museum in New York City several years ago. Apparently, he was an artist himself, and was visiting his favorite museum to gain inspiration for his next project. Unlike Frederick, this bird, 'Quihlo, was actually quite talented. He has apparently had several exhibitions in the past few months, and is said to be one of the brightest stars on the horizon.

He was a magnificent sculptor, but his story is not a happy one. His wife was his muse and his ultimate inspiration, and he was nothing without her. One day, she left him. She took their truck and loaded it with valuables, such as bubble gum and skateboards, and took off into the night. When he woke up, 'Quihlo was distraught. He had no idea what to do. She had left him a note, stating that she was leaving for Kentucky. Knowing that his career was over without her, he decided to chase after her. He got into their other car, and went towards the only place in Kentucky he knew she could be going – her ex-husband's house.

Upon arriving, he saw through the window that she was indeed there. He knocked on the door. Her ex-husband answered, and 'Quihlo immediately struck him with a baseball bat. His wife screamed and recoiled and horror. He violently grabbed her, took her over his shoulder, put her in his trunk, and headed home.

He told me during our meeting at the Guggenheim that she was still at his house, a hostage. After we parted ways, I notified the police, who presumably contained the problem.

The police occupied, I then looted the Guggenheim, stole several priceless works of art, and sold them on the black market for a fortune. I used this fortune to build a statue of a giant smashed beer can.