Formal Dinner Accident

Formal Dinner Accident
Originally uploaded by devastationstudios.

I met this bird when I was at a formal dinner with the president of Toyota. I'm not sure whether or not this particular bird was in fact invited, but he showed up nonetheless. He arrived sober (as best I could tell), but that didn't last very long. The first drink came with everybody else's, but the way in which he drank it differed in that he downed it instantly. He seemed to feel the effects within seconds, slamming his fist on the wineglass, shattering it. He screamed and then called for another drink. This pattern continued, repeating at least thirty times before they refused to serve him again.

This sent him into a furious rage, when he began to throw things – plates, broken glass, shoes, knives, and so on. Only three people were injured before he left via jumping out the window of the three story building. It's a miracle he survived, and after he regained consciousness, he limped across the lawn to a parked fire truck across the street at the fire department. He threw a rock at the windshield, breaking the glass, allowing him to enter. Apparently the last driver had left their keys in the car, as the lights lit up and the engine revved rather quickly.

The fire truck began accelerating very quickly, the tires squealing. It swerved from side to side briefly before getting control. He was headed straight to the building we were in. people gathered at the window to look down at all the commotion. As he got closer and closer, we all began to get nervous.

It turned out that we had a good reason to be nervous, because he slammed into the building with incredible velocity. The building shook and everybody fell to the ground, spilling wine everywhere. The crash had created a fire, and it was climbing up to the second floor. We were next. We didn't know what to do, but when the flames hit the wine on the ground, we knew we had to do something. Fortunately, I always wear parachutes to formal dinners, so I jumped out the window and only suffered an ankle sprain. I assume everybody else died.