Elvis

Elvis
Originally uploaded by devastationstudios.

Okay, so this isn't actually Elvis, but it's as close as you're likely to get in the world of birds. Despite the dissimilarity, this bird will answer to not other name than Elvis. I met this bird at a bachelor party for a friend of mine, and it turns out that this bird was the "entertainment". Needless to say, there was a lot of disappointment all around. Initially, there was some slight laughter, with the majority of us assuming that this was a joke, but after 10 minutes of this bird standing in one place, making squawking noises "imitating" Elvis, it became apparent that this was all we were going to get.

Within the hour, everyone had left the party, except for me and the bird. I wanted to speak with the bird out of curiosity – how did it get this job, and why? I also needed to ask the guy organizing the party why he had hired the bird, a question he has yet to answer. Unfortunately, he left in his Camero before I had a chance to speak with him. I don't know what his situation was exactly, but I suspect it was some sort of prank or something.

Anyway, unfortunately, this bird was one of those birds that doesn't speak. It seems that birds fall into the speaking and non-speaking category. The speaking category seems to be fairly intelligent, or at least intelligent enough to hold a simple conversation. The non-speaking category seems more like a pet dog or cat. They are alive certainly, but unable to communicate or think coherently. This bird certainly falls into the latter category, and I wasn't able to get any information whatsoever. I took a photo of it (which it didn't even respond to), and left.

This is a situation similar to the Babe Ruth situation I posted about a week ago, in which these pet-like birds are being taken advantage of. The Babe Ruth bird was getting married, which I doubt it even understood, and this bird being sent out as "entertainment" at bachelor parties. I suspect that there is some sort of company that sends out these birds to "entertain", despite them being completely clueless, and pays them nothing.

I think the government ought to step up to the plate here. We can't just let these birds be continually abused. Something has to be done. I would suggest that the more competent birds take initiative, but there seems to be some sort of feud between them and the "lesser" birds.